August 2009
1 post
Summer Vacation
Ninety-Six Degrees. Ballsac, say hello to thigh. The pleasure is mine.
Aug 4th
April 2009
21 posts
Will You Marry Me?
And So I Humbly Ask You To Take My Hand And Be My First Ex-Wife.
Apr 27th
Summer Picnic
It Itches Down There. Uh Oh..  Here Comes Some Public Deep Asshole Scratching.
Apr 23rd
A Love Letter.
Dearest Internet, Thanks For The Endless Supply Of Disturbing Porn.
Apr 18th
Racquetball
Meeting of The Balls. One Rubber, The Other Flesh. Should Have Worn A Cup.
Apr 16th
1 note
This is awesome:
Dear supbitch (I will assume that is your given name) - Thank you very much for reblogging me.  That means a lot.  And I’m not just saying that because you’re an Asian chick (yes I am). supbitch: haikusfromtheballsofmysoul: “No, No.  Of Course Not. I Normally Date White Girls.” Of Course, I’m Lying.
Apr 15th
4 notes
An open letter to Heidi from the Hills
Too Much Collagen Have Made Your Lips Look Like A Puckering A**hole. (Also, you really shouldn’t marry Spencer.  Your mom is right.)
Apr 15th
Cialis.
4 Hour Boner. Rest Assured, My Doctor Will Not Be Consulted.
Apr 13th
This is not a haiku.
Help me make this sh*t famous. Tell your friends about this site. Blog about it. Tell your friends about blogging about it. Blog about telling your friends about it. Full circle, bitches.
Apr 13th
Time Heals All Wounds.
Whoever Said That Never Had Genital Warts. These Things Are Awful.
Apr 12th
Facebook Friend.
Your Pics From The Beach Provided for A Hefty Spank Bank Deposit.
Apr 12th
Honesty - Not the Best Policy.
“This Whole Night Was A Series of Lies Designed To Get You To Blow Me.”
Apr 11th
Suicide Hotline Fail.
“Go Ahead, Then.  Jump.” Reverse Psychology Is Not That Effective.
Apr 11th
Juno - a movie review.
Call Me Crazy, But I Swear I Would Rather Watch A Live Abortion.
Apr 11th
Locker Room.
Old Fat Naked Man, That Towel Has A Purpose. Cover Your Old Balls.
Apr 8th
Magic Trick.
Girl Who Does Yoga. Talks About Chi and Chakras. Boner Disappears.
Apr 6th
When Asian Girls Ask the Fetish Question.
“No, No.  Of Course Not. I Normally Date White Girls.” Of Course, I’m Lying.
Apr 6th
4 notes
The First Time
When We First Made Love, Thought That My Heart Would Explode. Wrong Pipe.  Ninety Farts.
Apr 5th
Growing Up.
I Will Quit White Drugs. It Is Time To Grow Up, Or Buy Food Coloring.
Apr 5th
You Are Mistaken.
“Thongs Are Not Just For Girls Who Exercise Daily.” You Are Mistaken.
Apr 5th
Love.
The Things I Would Do To Your Body Are Awful Maybe Illegal.
Apr 5th
Gym Haiku
Gassy This Morning. I’m Sorry, Guy Next to Me. Ceiling Fans Would Help.
Apr 5th